Alll the single fella's - Lesson 1

Annnnnnnnnnd we're BACK!

So I got very off task with my whole dating thing. I've been too busy - going to weddings. I'm noticing a trend here on these dating sites and I feel like I OWE it to the male population out there to give you a few tips on what NOT to do in your profile.

Profile Pictures:
1) Do not use a scanned picture - DUDE - it's 2010. If  you can't get your hands on a digital picture of yourself that you think represents you, then we have a problem. Since no one has developed a picture since the first Bush was President.

2) Don't wear a bright orange shirt- this looks like a prison uniform.

3) Shirtless self portrait taken with iphone in bathroom mirror - creative - douchebag.

4) Children - NEVER have any child other then your own in the picture. Unless you ARE a father, I don't need to see you swaddelng a infant. It's not going to make my ovaries jump thinking you are a single guy who is DYING to reproduce.

5) Kittens - Whatever guys don't like kittens. They grow into cats. We know you are just trying to get laid.

6) Admit you live with your parents

7) Ed Hardy - If I see Ed Hardy anything...delete...........................................douchebag.

8) Justin Timberlake - If a picture comes up with you and Justin Timberlake, I'm going to think YOU are just a guy who looks like JT and will smile, wink, flirt with you with out reading the caption that you are the deformed troll on the LEFT of Justin TImberlake whom you ran into at Win Dixie.

9) Group shot - Picture it a group 3 guys..a priest, a blind guy, and an old man. I'm supposed to pick which one of you is this profile for? I'm so happy I paid money to get this exclusive information.

10) Sexy face - Please don't look at the camera like I one valume and a rum runner away from being locked in your basement. Your "Bedroom" eyes face looks like a date rape set to the sweet sweet songs of Dave Matthews and Jack Johnson. ..