Tuesday, December 31, 2013

PHAT with a PH


Well it's that time of year again.  You know when I post something and make promises to update this and all of a sudden it's a year later?  I know I suck at updating this.  But A LOT has gone on this past year that has kept me from updating.

Many of my inspiration comes from attempting to date and well I didn't do a ton of that in 2013.  Here's why....I spent most of it (as I have spent the last 12-14 years) as a fatty.  Fun fact: Fatties don't like to date.  I mean I would get myself out there as much as possible but - well the guys that I am attracted to, don't really like chunky girls.

So I have spent the better part of the year not trying to focus on dating and really trying to focus on myself.  Trying to lose weight and nail this promotion I've been hunting down for the last 2 years.  So on this last few hours of 2013 I can say I've nailed 1.5 of those things.  I DID get the promotion (high five to myself) and I've lost 78 lbs.  And here it goes ... I'm going to throw it out there.  I went from 255 (that's right...I'm going to own that number) to 177.  Now, I'm 5'2.  I am by NO means thin now.  I still would like to drop another 52 lbs.  Which is no small task.  But I'm ready for it.

So this year I thought in addition to my dating and work struggles I would also include how freaking hard it is to manage to lose weight, work your ass off and find a man who isn't a total douche bag.

I can say that there is a giant difference between dating at 255 pounds and 177.  I can see how now I feel like I have more options and I can be a little more picky.  By picky I don't mean snobby but I do notice how I don't put up with things I would have put up with in the past.  Which is good because that just means I'm gaining confidence and THAT is the most sexy thing a woman can possess.  It's not about the size of my jeans, it's about I feel about myself.

So tonight, in honor of making 2014 my bitch, I'm spending NYE at one of those match.com stir events.  This is going to go one of 3 ways.

1) Vulva Convention - The entire place is going to consist of 200+ women who have spent hours and hours prepping and primping thinking that there are going to be a ton of cute guys only to spend the night attempting to drink $160 worth of open bar only to end the night barefoot on the dance floor singing "I'm a survivor" and screaming that this turned out awesome because "I have no single friends in the city anymore and now we can have a girls night out"  ?

2) What Agency are you an Account Coordinator for? - Everyone will be a 23 year old entry level Coordinator for an advertising agency.  "Oh e-marketing for a pharmaceutical company? Sounds exciting!" (said no one).   Should this be the case, I'm 25 and "I totally think that I'm going to make Account Director in a year or so - let's celebrate now with some shots of pink shit".  I have no shame.  It's NYE.

3)Tony and Ant escape the island - The only people that show up to this thing is every Italian dude on Staten Island.  They spend hours on their GTL today and spend a good chunk of the time roaming around the mall to find the perfect deep V shirt to wear.

If I'm lucky I will run into Tony the Italian 23 year old AC from Staten Island.  I will do my best to drink the cost of my ticket and end the night screaming barefoot on the dance floor with Tony's cousin Brianna and her 34 drunk girlfriends.