To say that I have neglected this blog is probably speaking to kindly. I flat out abandoned it for quite some time. But I promise I had a good reason. But I promised someone that I would try and focus on this a little bit more and provide some entertainment.
I really didn't know what to say since my dating life has been non existent since December. In the spirit of rejoining life, I posted a slightly stupid profile on Plenty of Fish. All it took me was 10 hours to figure out why this site creep-ed me out before. This is the gem of an email I just received.
Here is what I want to write back:
Dear Chicken Choker (that's what the profile picture is),
What a silly question, do I like sperm? I love sperm. I think sperm is the best invention since truffle oil. Clearly my profile screams how much I like sperm.
Please tell me about your profile picture for I find it fascinating. Are you the one choking the chicken or are you suggesting your chicken be choked? I just like to know these things up front. You seem like the kind of guy that really knows how to treat a lady.
I see your profile says your "Looking for a Relationship". How is that working out for you? Have you found your sperm soul mate yet? I also see that your profession is listed as "direct deposit". As in your paycheck from your job is direct deposited or you know your way around a sperm bank? Clearly since your "About Me" section says that you are on here looking for your future wife and start a family, sperm acceptance is a must. You are a modern day John Hughs. I want you to Lloyd Dobbler me with talks of sperm. xoxo
